hmm. I just finished the sisterhood of the traveling pants, and let me say, it was a wonderful book. Actually, it made me realize how unbelieveably unhappy i am. Like, I love my family and friends and I couldn't be happier in that case, because my friends are awesome, and my family is cool. I don't know, with all the people in my life, I'm still lonley. OK, nobody probably cares about anything i'm about to say..but i have to get it out. There's a girl in the book, bridget. She goes to soccer camp in Baja California (in mexico) and she falls in love with one of the coaches. She's 15, he's 19. He tries to push her away, and pretends he doesn't like her, but eventually he just can't help himself, and, well, they get it on one night. lol, i didn't know how else to put it. Then he tells her that he can't be with her right now, and when she's older, then maybe then can be together. But like in the middle of telling her that he says how much he wants to be with her, and how much he thinks about her, and it was so sweet. It sounds really dumb--but i wanted to be her. OK--so what i'm saying is that i need more then a friend or a family member right now. i just need someone to hug me. lol. i say lol but at the same time i'm like really serious. I'm so lonley and I need someone to call and talk to, someone that won't judge me on anything. I don't have anyone like that, and I don't want pity. I just want someone to spill everything to. I get a lot of "if u need me call me" 's...but it's not that easy. I want someone to LOVE me. There has been one guy in my life to tell me I'm beautiful other then my dad...and it wasn't in a omg i wanna fuck u way--it was in a sweet way, that made me feel special...atleast that's how it felt. I know that I've turned down a few guys who have liked me, but they just weren't for me. They're more friend types then boyfriend types. I dunno how to explain it.....i wish someone understood how I felt. I need a hug from someone who loves me...someone other then my family and my best friends. I need LOVE...and i'm falling apart without it.