Edit--WHIT! I am so sorry I didn't call u last night!! I got your IM and I was like alright, and I went to go call you and xed outta the IM and put an away message on, and then i realized that the IM had ur number in it. ha..sorry!
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i feel so great right now. I mean, there are some minor details that i don't feel good about, but everything else is going pretty well. Everyone I care about is happy. I guess that's all that matters. Happiness is important, and who am i to take it away from someone?
I guess this is kinda about the whole melissa situation, that i really havn't written about, because of my mixed feelings. I've said some pretty mean things, and I don't regret them...but i have realized that if she's happy then cool. Even if that means we're not friends, atleast she's happy. and if she's happy, then i'm happy. (even tho i know that in a few weeks she won't be happy...but hey, I tried to warn her.)
I just have to deal with my own problems right now, and worry more about school. I've finally realized how hard it is to find a trustworthy friend, or how hard it is to find trust in anyone. I just have to be really independent. That doesn't mean I'm not gonna have friends, it just means I'm not gonna depend on them to keep me happy. And that goes for boys too. I'm not gonna let any boy determine my happiness. It's just not worth it anymore. Life is too short. Shit happens, and you never know what tomorrow is gonna bring, and for me..I don't want to regret anything, so I'm just gonna live. I'm just gonna be me, and hope it gets me somewhere. If someone doesn't like me, it's their loss..
Anyway--tonight I'm going to kelly's. I'm just waiting for jess to get back. she went to get some food i guess. I love kelly's house, it's like freedom, there's never any parents, it's just like...relax..you don't have to do anything or worry about someone walking in and yelling at you before you even wake up.
Here's a quote i like, it's from the mary j. blige song "no more drama" I hate the song, but i like these lyrics..
*Broken heart again, another lesson learned..better know your friends or else you will get burned. Gotta count on me, cause I can guarantee that I'll be fine...*
Anyway--jess is back. later! :)
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