(the search for a prom date officially begins now..) I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. Sometimes I wish I could just evaporate, dissolve, or just sink into the earth. Life hardly seems worth living sometimes. I'm not saying I wanna kill myself, I never would. It just seems so pointless to even try things anymore. Everything I do seems to end in failure, and there's no one I can really call that will come to me when I cry. I have alicia, and I have melissa..but, they have their boyfriends, they have their jobs and their lives. I just feel so lost. I need someone to come point me in the right direction. I guess I should expect this..it seems like every few weeks I get really depressed for some reason. I hate who I am. Not all the time, just sometimes. Like, tonight. I hate how things never seem to work out for me. I hate it all. I just want to take a break from life for a little. Like, I wanna go somewhere..get away from work and school. I wanna get away from everyone else's happiness and find my own. "I'm having an allergic reaction to the universe." -seth cohen, the o.c. I'm gonna stop saying I hate everything now. Love, Tammy.