happy--woo, i can finally download some damn music again. anyway...where do i start? well..today it was all rainy and shit outside...so i kind of just chilled. hmm, it wasn't bad. i love the 90's was on!! ahahaha...i had it marked on my calandar and everything..how weird am i? what a life i have... soo my room is waaay too pink. i think i'm finally realizing that..the pink is cool--but it needs more then pink. like, some other color!! haha...i think black walls woulda been pretty cool. especially if everything else was really, really bright. haha.. i ate so much today, and i didnt really realize it..but now i have a stomach ache..haha, i'm a smartie ;). i actually did have something to talk about i just forget what it was... ohhhhh yeah...i looove the song my dashboard confessional.."vindicated." it's amazing. haha...i just heard it for the first time today, and i looove it. damn it...music is my life. i love all of it, i listen to just about everything. honestly...unless it's really bad..like those stupid rap songs...the ones where the guys have really annoying voices..what's that one where he just keeps repeating girls names..they're like "christina, keesha..." whatever, buut that song is annoying times 32409832094! and the ..."What? WELL OK!" ahhhhhh, who comes up with this shiiit? this diary used to be like...my life. well, haha not like that--just like, i would write in it everytime something happened and now..it's like, it's getting old. i still want it, but i don't really write much anymore. private entries yeah...but no one can see those, soo..ha. (?) sooo lots of thoughts have been going through my head...and, i'm really really worried about my senior year. it's my last year in highschool, and i am really, really going to miss it. i mean, what if i don't get a date for prom? or what if my senior picture is really bad? or what if i don't do as well as i want to? or what if something just messes it up. god, i don't want to leave highschool..and i don't want to get to prom either. i wish they would get rid of that p.o.s. i'm not going to have a date, and i've been worrying about that since the class of 2004's prom. it's just...i wish things would go OK for me once...because nothing ever just runs smoothly and i want this year to be my best one. lets see... 9th grade SUCKED--all of my "friends" talked about me behind my back and made fun of me when i was right there...i was never happy. 10th grade SUCKED--i was kind of..in between friends, at points i was really, really depressed and just wanted to die. i almost transferred schools...and my whole family was worried about me. 11th grade EHH--11th grade was just...there. It wasn't really great and it didn't suck, it just happened...there was no excitment...it just happened. no fun. I really want my senior year to work for me. i want to go to homecoming as a skank...haha, i want to go to gala w/ a date. i want to go to prom w/ a date. i want to have fun at senior week. i just....i know everyone is gonna note this with.."Tam, everything will work out and you'll have a date and there's plenty of time..." and blah blah blah...i've had enough of "everything will work out." I just need to get my act together...have fun, be confident, and just go with the flow. but, at the same time...i need to work hard to get what i want. ehh...i don't think anyone has any answers for me. ohhh well... well, i'm talking to ross about this issue and he says i shouldn't worry about it now...what a freak..haha. i'm out..byee.