so let me get this straight say now you loved me all along? what made you hesitate to tell me with words what you really feel i can see it in your eyes you mean all of what you say i remember so long ago, see i felt that same way now we both have separate lives and lovers (and lovers) insignificantly enough we both have significant others only time will tell time will turn and tell we are who we were when could've been lovers but at least you're still my day late friend we are who we are who we were when who knew what we know now could've been more but at least you're still my day late friend we are who we are who we were when but thoughts they change and times they rearrange i don't know who you are anymore loves come and go and this i know i'm not who you recall anymore but i must confess you're so much more then i remember can't help but entertain these thoughts thoughts of us together we are who we were when could've been lovers but at least you're still my day late friend we are who we are who we were when who knew what we know now could've been more but at least you're still my day late friend we are who we are who we were when my day late friend so let me get this straight all these years and you were no where to be found and now you want me for your own but you're a day late and my love,she's still renowned we are who we were when could've been lovers but at least you're still my day late friend we are who we are who we were when who knew what we know now could've been more but at least you're still my day late friend we are who we are who we were when so let me get this straight all these years and you were no where to be found and now you want me for your own but you're a day late and my love,she's still renowned we are who we were when could've been lovers but at least you're still my day late friend we are who we are who we were when who knew what we know now could've been more but at least you're still my day late friend we are who we are who we were when

i love today. ♥

if you wanna pretend you came up with it, you go ahead. eventhough i suggested "dragonflies" on his actual diary before there were any comments on his story one. if it makes you feel better, believe anything you want, i know the truth. have a nice day.

i'm excited for the art show. eventhough i have nothing to wear. red, black and white? i like don't own anythig red since it's stanford color and people get mad if you wear it on game days which is usually when i unknowinglyput it on lol. thats pathetic. things are good. this last weekend was so awesome. not in a really extraordinary awesome way, but in a ordinary awesome way. Like, nothing super-special happened. it was just super great. so i'm happy. i'm going to go eat a plum. :)

i don't feel like writing three papers this weekend. i am supposed to go to a work meeting/party thingee tomorrow but i just realized that i don't know where it is exactly. i'm guesing at the RSF but who knows. it's at noon so i guess i'll just show up and hope it's there. its horrible, i don't want to do anything except sleep on the weekends now. cause the weeks are soooooooo fucking loooooong. damn. and i don't want to do a ten minute presentation on french architecture....in french. i dont want to go to college anymore. i just wanna get an apartment and get a job and just.....live. fuck. i duno. i'm really lacking in motivation right now. eeee. i'm trouble. i don't mean cool pulp fiction trouble, i mean psyho crazy person trouble. highlighter party at DU tomorrow. 1st frat party ever. fun? maybe? hopefully? i'll be writing all day before (after aforementioned work meeting/party) so i'm hoping it will be a nice break. whatev i dont really understand my back hurts and i'm going to bed

ok random update on all things general in life b/c nothing super-awesome has happened lately. school: looooooong. but not so tough. just time consuming. and tiring. but not super-hard-hours-of-hw-that-i-don't-understand tiring. so thats chill. work: start second job tomorrow. RSF job going lovely as always. i think its more fun this semester cause i feel more comfortable with everyone now. good times. i love my boss, he's the coolest gay guy i think i'll ever meet. friends: i basically spend all my time with devo since andrew's been a douche since we got back. ok, not really, he's just like depressed and doesn't talk. at least not to me. whatev. i've been seeing alot of kellye and allie lately which is chill, i miss girltalk. like, i love having guy best friends now, it's so much more laid back, but it's nice to have a girl to talk to still. i haven't seen tara/alyssa in forever. need to get on that. living arrangements for next year: i need to figure out financial aid ish. cause i only paid like 3 thou last semester, and thats def like 1/5 of the baseline price. so if i get an apt (aka don't live in dorms) will my fin aid cover that? and if not, does that mean i have to live in dorms again? i realllllllly don't wanna. tara alyssa and i were supposed to get an apt together. but i kinda want my own. cause i don't like sharing a room. i wouldn't mind getting a three bedroom. that would be chill. life in general: is good. could be worse. things up here are pretty consuming. i did one of those "things I'll never say" things and it was totally helpful. yay morgan. i kinda can't wait til summer, but then i can't wait to start sophmore year (eventho by the end of next semester i'll technically be a junior in terms of units cause of AP tests and such). oh, which reminds me: summer: taking French 3 and a dance class at VC. getting a car? hopefully. and workinggggggggg. pool and hopefully a waitressing job. c'est la vie.

so i just learned to play "anyone else but you" from Juno on guitar. its pretty sweet, i must say. dinner tonight was good. it was nice to just chill with a couple girls instead of a huge group that always comes with anrew being around. not that i don't love all those people. but allie, shannon and i had like a legit conversation and it was nice. plus, i talked to andrew pierno today, that guy is totally cool. he lives across the hall and a door down but i like never see him and then randomly we talked in the lounge for like 45 minutes. shweet. ok, need to finish hw so i can watch juno @ 8:30. peace

so i'm listening to this mix that summer made me, and i'm not sure what to think about it. like, i've skipped to the next song once one gets about half-way through. i can't really figure out if i like it or not. although alot of the songs are really different. like, from semi-screamo to techno-ish-contemporary? to "la vie en rose" by edith piaf. hmmm. interesting. fuck tuesdays and thursdays. i'm so gd-damn tired. and i haven't even started my second job yet. but good news!!!! someone found my permit (yeah...so i lost it like 3 hours after i got it..) and they mailed it to me! so i can get my lisence over spring break. woot. thank you, anonymous person. you have helped me gain a little more faith in the moral/ethical state of society. congrats. ...and now there's a half english half french rap song?????? wtf... alright, i still have like 100 pages of shantytown kid to read, peace

til then, love.

so i dropped ISF60. Thank god. I'll take Philosophy with Allie and Devo next semester, and Geography with Shannon now to cover a PS requirement. Sweet. i wouldn't have read 6 chapters a night anyways, no way. so now i'm on here instead of doing hw like i should be. oh well. after i finish this i'm logging off the computer for good. for today. so sigma kappa invited me to rush this semester. i think i might check it out. just to see. i researched the sorority and it seems the most like me. i dunno. i have a feeling if i get a pledge i won't be able to pay for it. we'll see how far it goes i guess. i'm going down to SC to visit rylan tomorrow. should be fun. i've already gone over my weekly budget by like 6 times its amount, but whatev. he's coming up next month, so it's only fair really. and it'll be good to see him. alright, i'm out, peace loves.

that's what my chocolate told me today, lol. things are good. life is good. kinda hard. kinda complicated. but good. i'm realizing alot of things about alot of people, including myself. and i'm enjoying it. it's suposed to rain all week. i'm totally stoked. i need to go look up the gym schedule. i think i'll go tomorrow after class. before work. hmmm. french was fun today. but i totally forget the name of the girl i'm supposed to introduce tomorrow. her name was weird too, like Zenalb or something. maybe Zerab. I dunno. oh well. so i went to santa rosa with devo and andrew the other day and got to see their hometown which was awesome. it's so pretty. like ventura, but more woodsy instead of beachy. and i went to all the places they talk about all the time and met their families. good times. they invited me back next weekend but i'm supposed to go visit rylan in SC. leaving ventura was a bit of a bummer. but i'm also glad to be back. my schedule is brutal this semester but i think i'll make it through. just 4 months til summer. i left alot of stuff at home. i need my dad to send it to me, i'll have to call him tomorrow. devo rocks. it was weird, i spent like 4 days non-stop with him and andrew, but i didn't get sick of them at all. and when i came back to school, i said hi to everybody, but i still was like wanting to hang out with them. it was cool. i have a headache now so i'm gonna go.

AHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHH AHAHAHHAHAAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA HAHAHyouaresowrongitsfucking hilariousHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHA HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

why can't things just be simple? what is with the constant barrage of difficulty after complication after misunderstanding. Why? things are getting out of hand and i feel like i'm slowly being tugged down to the depths of everything. but i'm fighting to break the surface. decisions had to be made, but did i make the right ones? i guess we'll find out soon enough. i never felt such a twisting in my heart this way. i just want it to be easy, but anything i come up with has drawbacks. its confusing shit.

holy shit i am so fuckin sore. i went to zach's dance company's rehearsal yesterday from 10-3 and learned their opening number. kicked my ass. and after having only 4 hours of sleep it was that much more tiring. but then i went to kampai [amazingggg] with davis and zach, got ice cream,and went to see national treasure 2. meh. i was like falling alseep cause i was so tired/full, and also starting to feel the lactic acid slowly building up in my muscles. the one thing i learned in chemistry. hah. finshed the bathroom, now i need to just clean up matts room. shuoldn't be too bad. i'll get thomas to do the floor. ugh i'm so freakin tired. i need to go back to sleeeeeeeeeep wednesday they come, i'm stoked. hitting up the beach fo sho, since it actually decided to become sunny. yay, i missed warmth. there's more wind today tho, hopefully that goes down.

so, basically, vampires rock, SO much more than werewolves. I love this new book series I'm reading. Totally ridiculous and easy reading, but I love it. I love the word-choice. And I've always wanted to name my daughter (if I have one) Bella, the name of the main character. Or some name that allows that as a nickname. Audrabella was the most recent choice I think. Haven't thought about it in a while. But yes, love these books; although I'm torn between liking Edward or Jacob more. Oh well, like it matters. So I've decided I'm a total nerd. I've been home for 3 weeks and I've read four 500+ page novels. I'm out. I need to take a trip to Barnes & Noble. Is it Barnes & Noble, or Barnes & Nobles? I have no idea. But yes, more books needed. And I need to finish ripping the wallpaper from the bathroom so I can paint it, and get a move on with Matt's old room, cause Andrew & Devo will be here in a week. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. It'll be fun though. Eventhough like EVERYONE is back at school. They'll meet Jasmine, oh god, that'l be interesting.

hahhahaahhahaha i love that mood. so i'm back at work, which is good cause its money, but bad cause i'm bored outta my mind. i only work 2 hours today but i'm here all day for the next two sundays...i think i might die. cupcakes were hella good, i told you. and i was talking to my friend devo from school and he quoted the star wars gangsta rap and was impressed that i knew what it was from.

chai tea is a cure-all, I've decided. christmas was good. for my family at least. my mom wrote me a letter, made me want to cry. then thomas took me to see P.S. I Love You, and it was a-ma-zing. Seeing it again soon hopefully. plansssssss for the next week = basically nothing. vegan cupcakes tonight? you never texted me back, jerk. so if you don't soon i'm doin sumthin else. work starts in january, thank god, will give something to do with muyself. alright i'm goin on a run, peace.

home love it love the sights love the people not loving the weather, it needs to be warm love that christmas is close and new years happy holidays everyone

six days til i get to go home and then a month of nothing but work and chillin with people, i'm so stoked i can't wait im making monkey bread tonight, i'm stoked yeahhhhhahhhhhh

i wanna kill them. and no, i don't think they're funny. they look like fucking idiots. thank god karolina let it slip that kellye wants to bone him or else we all could have been fucked. once again, devo saves the day. with help from karolina's vodka-impared secret keeping ability have fun boy-o. victim #4 comin up