i don't think he understands the affect he has on me. it's only been a short time but i feel like every decision i make somehow links back to him. it's unhealthy, it really is. Morgan and i went out to Starbucks this morning. i really like the fact that we're getting closer cause we have German 0 period together. we have so much in common, it's insane. i think she's the only one who fully understands my situation because hers is similar. well, not really. but it sorta has some aspects. whatever. she understands cause she knows and that makes me feel better, that i'm not alone. lately i've been thinking alot about {o god} the future. scary, i know. i'm like freakin out. but i've changed so much over the past year that i think it's impossible for me to try and plan out what my life is gonna be like. i wish i could. it would make things so much easier. but everytime i "plan" out what i want to happen, it either doesn't turn out that way [and i'm glad it doesn't] or it does and i realize that it's not what i wanted, just what i thought i wanted i don't know. it's weird. people always get mad at me when i listen to depressing songs that bring back memories from summer, but i can't help it. i miss him and listening to the songs help. Morgan knows. [sugar, we're goin down swingin']