[What happened to us?] Listening to: rancid - Feeling: pissed OK, IM DAM ANGRY!!!!!!!!!! I HAD A SCRIMMAGE IW AS LOOKING FORWARD TO, AND I DDINT START DAMN IT! I ALWAYS START, AND EVEN WORSE I HAD ONLY LIEK 7 MINUTES IN, I SO DONT KNOW WHY!! BUT EVEN BEFORE THE GAME STARTS, I BUY A NEW SUIT, AND I SWEAR IS LIKE NIK RUNNING SHORTS CPT FOR TITE, ALL THICK AND GRINDY, AND IT CUTS OFF CIRCULATION TO MY BALLS, AND IT CUD STOP A BULLET ITS SO TOUGH AND THICK. onto beter things now. Lindsay ran today, my lordy she is lookin good ately. and i sooo called it, she did her hair a different way, and i noticed, and i was all BAM! u did something different, even though it was only parted different. But then lie Brison and Roberto come in, i think they are both pretyt cool, but i cant really stand up with them, they are liek the popular crowd, so i'll be abll sup, and then bam their gone over woth the chiks. So they were allbam great hugs to lindsay. i was all woo! mine sucked. its cool though. hmmmmmm what else? im kinda over this whole Haley business, i thought she wa sdifferent. But shes still cool, i just dont liek ehr liek that. So yah, Ashely was looking good the ther night. shes tallere thna me!!! so didnt know that. Lindsay is shorter. Y do i keep bringing up lindsay. wtf. ok, im done. Later. ********************** Listening to: the break - Feeling: achy My mom is so great. She was tryiong to steal the comp, so we were kicking at eachother.. so shes all "if u kick me with those shoes ill kick u in the nuts!" ffreak. Ok, so onto girls. new paragraph. Ok, i was really starting to get into Lindsay. She used to liek me, but i was never into it. So i was starting to liek her. Then she was into this guy Robert(shes over it now) bt hes liek damn pop., so i wa lik damn it. But ok. Then she was done, so i was all yes. But then Brock kissed her. And i liek that dude, so im all fucked over like. I dont wanna get him pissed at me, so im all fine, ill just chill till that dies over, but then she lies him back, dman it. Thehn even worse, i guy i know even better likes her too, Jason. So now i relaly cant do shit. Then at th egame, Hannah comes and holds my hand, u all know that story. But, i was talkign to Lindsay, when i as leaving, cuz we were both getting a ride from Diedre nd Brandon. and Hannah coes and gives me a hundreth hug. Im all damn it, wrong time bitch. i had this pin i was gonna gove Lindsay too. It was a tionkerbell thingy. She used to be my Tink. So iwas gonan give it to her, but Hannah came up, and i lost th ebakc o the pin. Damn it! Then last night Jordi called and wanted to go to the mall, so we went for a while and just hung out. Im so damn confused, so lindsay is probably gonna read this, and its gonna get wierd. But w/e, gonan have to happen sooner or later. Bye. New added part: i guess for one im labeld the "too late" one. So i guess thats over ************* Listening to: malorys pink cd - Feeling: alone ok, loads of stuff. my comp broke, and that week was HELL!!!!i must be a nerd my God. So, heres the deal with girls. I liked/ Like Hannnah and Lindsay at the same time hmkay? Then i said somthing to Hannah that she took the wrong way, so she thought i asked her out. bad. Bt i just kinda went with it. Now i dont like her, and i like Lindsay. I know that was all a really bad deal bt w/e. Yah, so i have yo break up with her today. I need ta. hokay. Last weeks polo game sucxked, it was a great loss, cuz we kicked ass, we just had a really bad start. POlus, i missed wedsnedays practice so i only got 60 seconds of plat time. And those sixty seconds or so were onsetly the worst moment i have ever played in the sport. My God it was horrible. So emberrassing to even be seen. Plus i had this big ass burn on my fave were some of the guys pinned me down and burnt me with a cashew nut. YAH! a damn nut!!!! but w/e, mis madre was may maddde than me about it. Wow, that actually wast that much stuff. hmmmm, well my butt is reallly white for all of my but fans out thre who were dyign to jusr know that tid bit of info. Darn speedo does it, bascketball is white all over, but my dong is white, and its close to tan, so it looks bad. eeek. ok im gonna go.Later. *************** Ok, so Brandon kinda like Katherine, ut she really likes him, but no offense, Brandon hurry ur ass up shes getting pissed. So i hink thats gonan fall through. Im still into Lindsay, but im not gonna go for it, unless she really like straight up tells me she likes me like that, and i havent been getting much. but thats ok. Bushy is so great, shes just really freaking funny, greta advice too. U rock. Im going to the Volleyball game toight. Woo, Jessica in spandex, not much beats that.Shes pretty cute, and ie been thinking about her for some reason a lot. Ok, righty oh. Later. Oh and Devin i talked to my mom about u, it was in kindergarden huh? ur dad works with um Kevin McMillan, and i know kevins son Frankie, odd connection. ***************** Ok, Linsay siuation isnt etting much beter well i unerstand it more, and i like her so much ts amazng, but its not happening soon apparently. A guy namd Brian might as hr out, and shod me that she it sayyes, and i sid ill wait. I seriouselly meant t, ill wat for as lon as ittakes, kinda corny, bu i relalr rally really liek her, and ill seriouselly wait as long as need t, without girls in te middle, cna wait hroug w/e. Later ****************** Listening to: rancid - outta control Feeling: alive Omgosh, we just had a really good game, im bakc up 2 a 1 goal per game avergae, lots of assists, steals. We had a good game, Scotty wasnt so grea, but he did good too. I saw Alicia, whoi i barely talk to anymore, refreshing. Omgosh, all today, i barely talked to Lindsay, cuz sh was always with Bryan, so i was all im just gonna chill. i got really sock of that really soon, so when i finally saw her alone, it was the middle of 5th, i walked her back to class and kissed her, and she kissed me back so i guess she liked it. My hand it ripped again, kinda itchy, and my knee is so hurt,, im gonna saw it off with a spooon. Later gators. *************** O, i kissed Lindsay yesterday half thru 5th right? i dont regret it at all, but i found out she was going out with bryan since lunch. Im totally ok with it but yah. Im gonna show her i can wait, cuz everyone thinks im gonna burn through her cuz i have a lotta g/fs. But i like her so much its incredible. shes so amazing and awesome. Im in awe when im around her. I drives me crazy being right there and not even being able to hold her hand. AAAHH!!!!!! she is so incredible !!!! ok. ****************** horrible day September 30, 2004 Listening to: elvis - Feeling: furious i was having such a good luckky and happy day. I woke up thinking abou butts, perverted, but good. So im having a great day, pizza, no hw, just grand. plus team pictures to look forward to. I barely talked to Lindsay at all tho. Then im on the way to 5th period right? i see Lindsay holding hands with Bryan. Ttoally ruined my day, i knw it was gonan be hard to wait, but holy crap that half killed me. If i had somethign hard i would have beet down a car to rubble i swear to God. We had pizza 5th, but i was still way unhappy. So damn sad/mad. AAHH!!! An whover left that message earlier, DO U REALLY THINK I WANTED TO KNOW THAT BRYAN KISSED HER AFTER 5TH GOD DAMN IT!!! MOTHER FUCKER I FEEL SO DAMN GOOD NOW. hORRIBLE TO AMAZINGLY BAD DAY. DAMN IT. I know i have no right to be mad either, but im crazy about her. like no one else. thio is gonna sound really lame and pppl r gonan be all yah right, buit i like her more than any other girl i can think off ever. I dont know what t do im so confused, all class im thinking abouit her, cept in first which im thinking about things happening to Bryan, train accident, for example, cuz hes in my class. I wanna be with her so bad. ............. i dont know what else to write, i got tto hold the ball for pictures. me and erin messed up our hair all crazy for it. We are true polo players. tomorrow we r gonn scrimmage the girl, im so no gonan be able to focus. Lindsay as goalie, im just gonan look retarded, shots of the cage, dropping the ball, set destroying me. no idea what to do. ok bye.