Well today i ended up skipping my two classes in order to do my work for my portuguese tutor. That thing makes me feel stupid, so i won't talk about it... but yeah... blah. I'm feeling all odd again. Friends are all weird... everyone complaining about everyone... and it's all coming to me... that's one side of it... and the other is that i'm lonely and i feel like there's no one here. And i just want affection. Don't know why. *sigh* I think its the stress from next week that's starting to kick in. I need to control myself next week and not come online so much. I can't wait till christmas. I love tradiations. Probably because my life is so based on change that the traditions to me are the things that stay the same so i need to hold on to them so that i can hold on to myself. That probably made no sense... but it was clear in my head. And this particular Christmas will be a special one. Everyone is going to be there. My two cousins who live in the US who haven't been to our chritmas in like 11 years and one of which i haven't seen in about 8 years or so... and she's coming with her husband... who i also don't know yet. Then there's my oldest guy cousin who just got his girlfriend pregnant... so she's coming too... which means interesting! Then aparently also one of my cousins's good friends who i like is coming because her family won't be there for some reason. It should just be interesting for the whole family to be reunited after 11 years... i mean i was... 9 years old last time my whole family was reunited for christmas. yeah... I think part of this feeling thing comes from last night i was looking through some old pictures... on my computer... but like pictures from when i lived in Paris ... just people.. and then even my class there who i almost graduated with... but since i moved here after 11th grade i didn't. And then i was looking of pictures from senior year here in Portugal and graduation and prom and just night's out... And then pictures from the summer after that... when Sheehan came for about 3 weeks... it was just such great fun. =D I wish we lived in the same place =/ Or at least saw each other more often. Then i was looking same summer when i went to San Fransisco to visit Anna and just remembering i had the best time there... it was seriously one of the happiest days of my life. And yeah... then even looked at some college pictures from here now... I don't know... i love memories... but they always get me sad. Yeah... i have nothing else to say... my aunt should be coming on Saturday. That's all about my weekend for now, besides of course studying my ass off =/ Oh well... byebye... I need affection