I'm good at people's secrets. Even if I do tell someone else, I'm very careful with them. When it comes to my secrets... there's one thing I have a hard time doing... keeping a secret to myself only. I feel like I need to tell someone but I can't yet. It becomes a possibility then. And i'll be questioned then. And I can't... I can't see myself fall apart again. But I do have to try... so I'm trying on my own, and keeping it to myself for now. I haven't even told Mike yet. I don't want to have to tell him it can't happen. I want to know more before I tell him anything this time. I really want to go to Canada. I really want to see him. It may happen. I don't know what the percentage is, it might be very, very low, but there IS a chance. So I have to be patient. I have to wait. Monday hopefully I'll go get the Visa done... and maybe someday I'll be able to buy a ticket. I don't know. I hate keeping this to myself. I may have to tell Mike.