I almost can't believe i've told mamãe that he's my boyfriend. And I've told papai that I want to go to Canada in August. And it may happen. May being the key word. What if I don't? I'm not sure what will happen. The thought of breaking up tears me apart because i'm scared i'll never see him again... I just... love him so much. I hate being in a relationship where it doesn't make sense to anyone. Just because of how we met, and how far away we are. And it bugs me that she was okay with Ross, but him... it's suddenly much less possible... stupid... so much MORE possible with him. Speaking of Ross, I had a dream where he called me. Weird. I kindof miss him, but at the same time... I don't.