I can't believe this diary still exists. So old. Yet the entries are so specific. It's funny, that the last entry was about that happy moment, and i was saying i'd do it over and over again just for that moment. Right now, i don't want to do it. I'm tired. Yo-yo. It's not even that there's someone else in your life, or that i think you don't care... i know you do... i know what i mean to you... but we're not there anymore. I don't like trying to make things okay. It's not that they're not okay... they're just not easy. I can't stand this when i know how close we were. I just can't keep pretending, and i can't keep having simple conversations, looking for things to talk about... i dont know... for a second, i get that smile, and i see it... but then... it's back to the realisation. God i miss you.