I don't know. I'm having odd moody feelings again today. I don't even know why. Well i know why I have them... i just don't know why... and i don't know if they're right. Or if there's even a right or wrong here. *shrugs* Ross. Things were going good. I was finally getting positive about it all. I admited to myself that there are still feelings there... even though I don't want the feelings to be there... because I don't really want anything with him anymore. But i don't know. Sometimes I feel like he doesn't give a shit. And it's so stupid. Why do I think he doesn't care? Maybe its just because of things that have happened that i can't put behind me. So now whenever he does a little something that normally wouldn't mind me much... it just gets me wondering. I was thinking about other stuff about him today... that's probably why just now when I went to talk to him online and he told me he was busy I got a bit annoyed and felt like he didn't care. Which is stupid... because the conversation went like this: Me: hey, you're online Him: yeah but kinda busy Him: cant chat properly just yet Him: can i get back to u in a bit??? Me: sure, bye Him: lol dont be huffy!! Him: i still love u Him: just having a heart to heart Me: nevermind Him: will explain later xx Him: *heart* *hug* *flower* I don't know... I guess what bugs me is that i wish I could have a heart to heart with him. Thing is at times i feel like i'm just someone to fill up his spare time. and it's stupid... he's told me i'm not... *shrugs* OH well... whatever... we'll see. And Lucas... i guess today me feeling this alone way.. it just didn't help that I find out that he had the time to send Timz a long email... yet didn't have the time to really email me. =/ The only good thing today was that Kanako IMed me... and that was nice... she's a cool girl, and so like me its odd. And now Marie-Eve's just IMed too... ironic. hehe And how interesting... right now I'm listening to the Graduation Song... by Vitamin C... i absolutely love that song... but it makes me so nostalgic... and its kinda sad... Anyway... that's it. I need someone to care.