Urgh. I'm so freaking pissed off. I just... I don't even know what to think. I have to write about this somewhere though, and for reasons, I'm not going to write it on Bloop, I'm going to do it here. Who was it that once said to not mix your real life friends with your net friends? I'm sure someone said that before. I always agreed. But then i never really thought about this i guess. It just seemed right. I still think it's right. But he just did the one thing he couldn't do. And I'm quite aware he didn't mean to do it, and didn't mean anything bad from it, but he did it none the less. And what pisses me off even more i guess is the fact that he went against what he's always saying. IF we're supposed to be able to talk to each other about anything, then why was he going Timz? It's just low. It really is. Out of all freaking people. Timz is my angel. She's the name i repeat in myself to keep me alive, and to know that she's somehow in the middle. That something went on with her that i don't know about... i don't know. I just don't even know what to do. But i'm not talking to Timz about it... and that feels wrong. But i don't want to... I can't. I don't want to bring her even more into it. But then... isn't that just doing that. argh. I don't know. But as the minutes, hours, and aparently days, go by i'm just getting even more pissed off at Lucas. If he'd just stop it and fucking talk to me then maybe something can be solved. But first he tells me that I'm the one not opening up and talking to him... and now look, now he's just told me we should "take a break" and that he's stepping away. Well fucking step away then... but stepping away is just the road to losing me... and don't come back to me after... because i told you that. I did. I fucking told you not to go away. But you did. I don't want it... but ... i don't know. I just don't know anymore. I'm so confused. No one reads this. So i feel reassured. What do you do when you're not supposed to go, but you're told you can't stay?