I am scared out of my mind right now. I don't want to lose her friendship. She really is one of the best friends i've ever had. My friendship with her doesn't even compare to any of my previous online friendships. She feels like someone i know. She's like Sheehan, only i talk to her often. Don't know what i'd do without her. She's more important to me than any guy. Especially him. So why can't i just stop it? I will. I really will. He's blocked. I'm not sure for how long... but i won't talk to him everyday. I'll avoid talking to him. If i ever do talk to him... if he flirts... in any way... i will tell him to stop. I can't be this fucking weak. He's not even the one i like. I don't even want to meet him. What i want is some of what he says... but i want it from someone else. I just... need to stop. I fucking hope she'll give me a second chance. I know how she deals with friendships... i'm scared i've ruined it forever.