I seem to have no will to update these days. its almost like me and sitdiary are growingfurther and further apart. but idk. i dont think I could just like, leave. i like the security, the stability. it doesn't let me down. i could stand some stability right now. idk, everyone just seems to be letting me down lately. kim let me down constantly for like, a year and a half. and she let me down in the worst way about a week ago... and kylie let me down...i know she didn't mean to, but she did. and barrys been letting me down constantly lately...finally i couldn't take it anymore and told him we we could't be friends anymore...merely acquaintences. its better that way. but anyway. i did a lot of thinking last night...sort of a "heart to heart" with myself i guess. i've decided that i don't think high school dating is really for me. people are so...fickle, i guess is the word i'm looking for. everyones falling in love and breaking up and having sex and finding new lovers...its insane to me. like, okay, heres a "for instance". i know this couple that has been dating since last may. they were all in love, one switched schools so they could spend more time together, they lost their virginities to each other, the whole shebang. so then, they broke up about a month ago, and within another 2 weeks, they BOTH had new people, and were happy with them. and another guy i know dated his girlfriend for like, almost 2 years. they broke up like 2 weeks ago, and he's already scouting out his next girlfriend, and i'm pretty sure she has a new boyfriend already. ...what the fuck? i could never do that. kim and i broke up, and it's taken me 6 months to get to a point where i'd even CONSIDER dating someone else. and i know it's going to take a long time before i ever get over her...and quite honestly, i don't think i'll ever be the same. she really got to me, that one... but yeah, anyway. i dunno. high school relationships are just too immature for me i think. so unless i find someone that's pretty damn special...i think i'm just going to stay single. ...not like anyone will complain, no one likes me "that way" anyway, lol.