hmm...so a few things have changed since my last entry. scratch that, alots changed. hmm, lets see. how should i start this? things that have changed since my last entry (lol) well, for the big one *my mom knows i like girls *she knows i have a girlfriend *she DOESN'T know this because we told her (...give you a second or two on that one...) yeah...talk about awkward. she took it surprisingly well though, actually. she was just like "that behavior is not acceptable in this house, with anyone...do i need to take jess home?" and i said no, and that it wouldn't happen again. so she said okay, suggested that we watch a movie, and left us alone for the rest of the night. honestly? right about then i was freaking out. i was shaking and jess was crying and yeah...it was really bad. mostly, i was afraid things were going to change. i was afraid i'd lose jess, i was afraid she'd tell my dad and he'd hate me, i was afraid i wouldn't be able to ask to see any of my friends without getting the stares and the questions and ugh...everything that i've been trying to avoid for like 3 years now. but then the next morning me, her, and jess all talked about it, and my mom and i more so after jess left...and it all seems okay. really, its a relief, knowing that she knows now, and that she's on my side with it. in todays world...you can never have too many people on your side. plus, she's my mom...i've always hated shutting her out of this, considering its a pretty big part of who i am. i just never had the guts to tell her. but now, she knows and i know she knows and its okay. you know? lol. and she likes jess too, which helps. she really didn't seem surprised at all...i'm pretty sure she saw it coming, lmao. hmm. what else? i haven't talked to jordan in...i think over a month now? well, unless you count today, when i kind of ended up in a car with her *awkward* but i didn't say anything to her except "yeah..." so yeah. me and jess are doing good, i think. our one month was the other night (already) hence her coming over and us getting caught in compromising positions...lol she really is adorable. i had a hard time seeing it, at first. i mean, i always saw it, but i guess i took it for granted...jordan was in my way :/ but now...idk. seems like every time i'm around her i realize something new and special and it makes me like her all the more. like today, i was at her house, and we were watching invader zim, and she got up for something and i just kinda watched her...she is SO cute. don't worry, i don't expect anyone to get that, lol. but yeah, i'm leaving for 2 weeks next friday :[ it makes me really sad...i don't wanna go. i mean, i do, but...idk. but anyway. theres some other stuff goin on right now, but i don't really feel like talking/typing any more, so yeah.