so, i figured maybe i should update, so no one thinks i died or anything. i haven't died yet...sorry, no such luck there. this week has been okay, i guess. idk. i haven't actually gone to school for a full day all week. not gonna lie, its kinda nice. but that isn't whats bothering me. you know how before, i was all "i dont want to date people unless theyre on my level, because otherwise its ony gonna hurt me"? well... this week has been about the loneliest week i've had in a while. true, i'm surrounded by friends. more so lately than i think ever, in fact. but i'm just so goddamn lonely... iwas talking to my friend steff today, and she was randomly like "i want a girlfriend" and i started to agree. then, i changed my mind. thing is, i don't necessarily want a girlfriend... i just want someone who cares. someone who i can talk to, and who won't judge me unfairly, and who will treat me the way i deserve to be treated. thats all it is really. at least, i think thats it... to be quite honest, i can't seem to figure out what i want anymore. i think i caught it from kim. its hard to know these days who i like, who i don't, who i click with, and who i just cant. i'm so afraid i'm turning into her... i don't want to hurt anyone. she hurt me so much, i wouldn't wish that upon anyone else. and i especially don't want to be the cause of it. its amazing how much damage one single person can do...