I wish i wasnt so posessive... i was havin an alright day, iain came online and i kicked his ass at checkers and he kicked mine at bejeweled and we had fun then i got d/c and he went offline...and i started thinking about just how slim a chance i have with him again... and how completely frustrating it is...im just in this box and i cant get out of it because its completely out of my control and...then caz came online and reminded me about...before...with abbie and iain...jesus im not jealous its not jealousy, its just complete madness with abbie and frustration, i would honestly be more happy if abbie had actually liekd iain in any way i cant stand her reasons for doing stuff she says she just likes flirting but shes turning into a slut...the rate shes going shes gonna have a reputation when shes older and i know she says she wont mind but she will when all the guys are either wanting her for sex or staying clear.....anyway im also kinda shocked cause i didnt think iainwas like that...or maybe he isnt but he just wasnt expecting it...and now im making excuses and sound so pathetic...i wish i wasnt so pathetic... i hate beign like this it just makes me feel so stupid and out of control...i just want...oh god ive gotta stop typing before i break again like i did yesterday...that was scary...