Im scared Im scared i wont finish my room in time Im scared ill start my gcse year off disorganised Im scared ill have spent all the holidays waiting for something to do and when i get back to school ill take one look at the homework and freak Im scared ill start cutting homework because i hate being forced to do it Im scared that ill start lying again Im scared ill start hating eveyone who tries to help me Im scared ill get into school and everyone will look at me and go geez shes got worse over the holidays Im scraed im gonna look at my friends and see someone differrent because i havent seen them in so long Im scared im going to have to see some people i dotn want to see Im scared im gonna dissappoint everyone who is trying to get me back on track Im scared i wont get good grades because i didnt know the stuff from year 7-9 Im scared im going to start this so well and then ill fail at being organised or concentrating or being a good friend or student and everyone will look at me and think oh thats amy kakoura, miserable cow, goes round school all day skipping work, lying to everyone, trying to pretend shes got everything in control, and she dosent even realise she's doing it, poor cow, even when she tries, she fails again after the first five minutes, after the novelty's worn off... WELL I CANT DO IT I CANT FUCKING DO IT IM TRYING TO BE CALM AND FUCKING ORGANISED SO THAT I CAN SAY IVE ACTUALLY DONE SOMETHING WORTHWHILE IN THE HOLIDAYS WHEN ALL IVE DONE IS SAT ON MY FAT ARSE EATING AND TRYING TO BE FUCKING OPTIMISTIC BECAUSE ITS A NEW START AND ALL THAT SHIT. WELL ITS NOT A NEW START IVE MISSED THREE FUCKING YEARS OUT, IM NOT GONNA KNOW SHIT WHEN I GET BACK TO SCHOOL, EVEN IF I COULD WORK ALL YEAR ID NEVER GET BACK WHAT I COULD HAVE HAD...why is it that everyone else i know who had problems has managed to be better, and i havent? what did they do? why did no one ever tell me what i had to do? why?