on days like these, i wonder why i still live here. i want the seasons to fly, and summer to arrive. also, i want some weed cupcakes. i'd settle for plain cupcakes, too. i'm on my period and i need sweets! i look like a mess, but that is because all that snow fall and the gray skies are making me tired, and my heart is still pounding from last week's pregnancy scare. bags sag under my eyes from the drunken and sleepless nights, my hair is untamed, my breasts are swollen, i look bloated and i have a pimple on my forehead. but i am too pleased with life to care about superficial nothings. i think being engaged has finally driven me to improvement and self-love. i am motivated and i find that quite odd. yesterday, for example, i did not procrastinate, but found myself dealing with my adult affairs. i was making appointments, applying for credit cards, handing out my c.v and i even did my sister a favor and handled her registration problem at school. today, i did my laundry (five weeks worth), made more appointments, went to the bank and cleaned the kitchen. i can't tell if this has anything to do with my manic mood swings. perhaps, tomorrow, i will not be able to get out of bed and so, i'm making the most out of this, and i am thankful that i have the energy today.