tonight is supposed to be intense. i have a new leopard print high-waisted skirt, two bottles of vodka and cranberry juice that affirm it. but i am very tempted to call everything off, stay in my worn out pants with the giant hole on the lower left butt cheek (easy access!), and take some lovely swigs of straight vodka right here, on my bed. my bed, that reeks of sweat, and beer, and ash. it disturbs my stomach when i think of the comfort these odors bring me. and you, my olfactory sense has started to forget you. it's distant love and now, a symbol. a vague dream i had a long time ago.