I am beginning to understand all this. The way love works, but mostly the ways it does not. I'm gaining more through experience, and I'm happy, the way a housewife is when she finally gets more for her money at the grocery store.

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For him, I played Wet Sand and Music when the Lights Go Out. And after each song, he stared, eyes widened like a puppy who realises its master will soon be leaving it. Come, is what he said, and he motioned for me to lay beside him, to warm his bare body. But time stood sitll, as it often does when I draw a blank. I didn't go. Paralysis plagued me for those frozen minutes. I remained seated, next to his feet. Those unflattering, large, calloused feet.

Really, I did. I sat by his feet.