here is I

wondering

the difference

between

love and

need

for validation

need to be desired

wanted.

I am dry of desire

other than my

crave for you

and your touch and

laugh

and those eyes

indecisive about

their own fucking

colour.

I am out of words, but

feelings are here

they just sound wrong

out loud, on

paper

in my head

they make me sick.

I am dry and sick

and afraid of

loving you and of

needing you to love me

and of counting

the ways

you do.