I really need to sneeze. - Edit: une petite pensée qui n'est pas assez puissante de m'emprisonner, mais qui continue de m'agacer légèrement. Edit 2: I`ve been really selective with the information I choose to disclose to my therapist. Last Wednesday, I realised I still had not told her about my engagement. I've also kept a lot of really personal, scary, embarrassing stories from her. I need to spill my guts out to someone, and it should be her. She's payed for it, right? Also, I really like her, mostly because my first impression of her was completely off. She is a very intelligent woman, and purposely doesn't show it. I like people who play dumber than they actually are. Maybe because I tend to do that, too. I realised that in attempt to stay positive, I push my negative thoughts aside without confronting them. And when everything surfaces, I do not know what to do. It has caused me to not be in tune with how I feel. At all. And so, instead of feeling optimistic, I just feel like a tense, delusional psycho. Anyways, I was promoted at work. Only after two months. I'm now, Chef de l'équipe. If it were not for the customers and this raise, I would have left. There`s this new girl who I really want to strangle. She's seventeen, and acts like she's fucking twelve. She wants to be fed compliments, all the time. She told me that if she was pretty, she would be a stripper. Hint Hint. I had to bite my tongue. Literally. I tasted blood. But I really wanted to tell her that she looked like a Cabbage Patch Kid fuck up. (I fucking swear, she does!) She continued this for another five minutes, until I finally said go ahead and don't worry, ugly people can still be strippers, give me your two weeks notice when you're ready to leave. Unfortunately, my manager forced me to apologize at the end of my shift. In other news, I finally figured what I want to study. Next year, I'm going to get my missing sciences and get all my gym, french, humanities and english out of the way. Then, I'll apply for Nursing fall 2010 at Vanier. If I get in, I'll be finished by 2013. (I'll be 22) And I could work as a nurse in the Douglas Mental hospital, while I finish my bachelors. And because I did the three-year-program in Cegep it will only take me two years of University (I'll have my bachelors by 24). This way I save a lot of money (a semester in cegep is 150-200$ versus 2000$ in university), and I'm just as qualified as a nurse who did four years of university. If I don't get accepted, I'll register to finish my Arts and Culture D.E.C at Dawson. (Done at 20) And apply at Concordia in Psychology. And I'll be done with that by the time I'm 24, too. I'm fortunate that I skipped a year when I was in elementary. I already fucked up one semester, and took a leave of absence for the other. So because I started a year earlier, I am not stressing too much about those past fuck ups. I just need to stay driven the next few years. Edit 3- I just found out that if I have all my cegep courses out of the way, I can do the Nursing program in two years as an intensive at John Abbott College. Excellent.