I believe a real entry is overdue. I know because I feel a tantrum and a breakdown coming.

Full circle, full circle, full circle.

Lord, I don't know where to begin, mostly because there isn't a starting. (It's a fucking circle).

On Tuesday, my English teacher thought it would be appropriate to dedicate her lecture time to the subject of existantialism and the feelings of insignificance people in the western world usually experience. Whatever, right? But she then proceeded to express her views on the silliness of fearing death and blah, blah, blah, ..... I would have stabbed her if I wasn't choking on the oxygen I was desperately trying to inhale. God damn, the nerves of this woman. How dare she puncture my wonderful bubble of ignorance and wake me up from my sweet alcohol haze. I DO NOT KNOW WHY I AM HORRIFIED OF DEATH, but I am. For the longest time I was basking in the glorious belief that I was, indeed, immortal and invincible! Now, I am back to being reality's little bitch. Smacks here and there.

In other news, getting a job at a pub was probably the best and worst idea I ever had. My wage is already gone before payday, but, hey, staff prices. Also, I've been kind of a slut. Only mentally, though. Which, I guess, is the worst. Actually, no. I take that back. How is that the worst? I'm a fucking saint in comparison to some of the sleaze I've seen come in. I don't know. I think I'm lonely. I think I'm upset because I am very socially retarded and awkward, and I try to make up for it by being flirtacious when I am drunk.

I sound desperate and pathetic, so I am going to stop writing because this is so far away from what I would consider a "real" entry. I am going to binge eat peanut M&M's instead.

So in conclusion, hooray for alcoholism, whorish behaviour and bulimia!