this will be the last

sitting

on the staircase

of your apartment building

arms around knees

balled

chipping salmon-colored walls

leaning on the black

shining railing

i've gotten closer

with this railing

than i ever did

with you

i've familiarized myself

with this cold step

the mornings after

makeup dripping

on my lap and hands

my hair spilling in tangled dreads

my body and soul worn inside out

like dirty socks

from not being able

to say

i love you

this cold step

it and i

shared our moments

last