i'm not normal, i'm not normal, i'm not normal, i'm not normal, i'm not normal.
even as i write this and repeat it over and over as a mantra in my head, it feels empty. like a prayer designed to comfort the mind and warm my cold heart. i'm so full of it, drunk and ready to rip myself apart.
I WANT A STORY, A LIFE. NOT THIS. RAMBLING AIMLESSLY. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. WHO, OUT THERE, WILL HEAR ME?!
lover, i'm winding the string of the rod one last time. i'm tired of waiting. fishing is stupid, but i'm desperate.
pretending i have anything of worth to say. see all these notebooks! hidden in them is true prolificacy. see these boys who want me, displayed on my wall like trophies, but i never touch them.
i am not normal, i am not normal. i never was.
but damn am i empty.
it's been awhile since I've checked into the sitD world, but it never ceases to offer a sliver of comfort and some amusement that your posts always seem to mirror my feelings.
I hope life is only temporarily unraveling and some sunshine will stitch it back together again. I'm never too sure myself, but here's to hoping
-Nikki