Have I been honest with myself? I mean really, have I been honest. I told myself I was over the ex, that I didn't want anything with her, and maybe to an extent that was true. When I had this other thing going for me I was able to push Dawn a bit further out of my mind; yet not completely. I care for her and want her to be happy, but I think she still makes me happy. I don't know that me and Dawn will ever be anything, or even if that is what I want, but I do know that when I talk to her I am happy. I had this thing going on for me. I had a great week and I was able to move on a bit, but the love I had for Dawn is the same love I still have for Dawn. I don't know that she will ever be as committed to me or anyone else as I was to her. I don't know if she will ever realize that I was committed to her as much as I was. I gave her everything I had, I never expected to do any less. I loved her with no chance of getting hurt; yet got hurt. I know she got hurt as well, but it seems as if I am a lot easier to get over for her than she is for me. You know, nearly immediatly after we broke up she was dating or kissing or whatever with someone else. I have just recently kissed someone new. I told myself it was right, that this new person was interesting and that she could take my mind off of Dawn. I told myself so much, but you really can't tell yourself how or who to love. I let myself focus on this new person simply because I fealt I should no longer be thinking about Dawn. I was sweet, I bought flowers, I kissd this woman and she said that it meant something to her, that I meant something to her. Then after she got the flowers she told me that she just wanted to be my friend. It was the worst feeling in my life. I mean, I fealt stupid, I was stupid to think something would go my way. She later told me that it really didn't mean anything, the kiss that is, that she just said that because she knew it was what I wanted to hear. She lead me on and I feel right into it. I know it was a dumb thing to do, but I really thought it was the right thing for me. If Dawn wouldn't have me, wouldn't give me another chance, then I needed to move on. I had some feelings for this new woman and thought it would be a great place to start. I think I should have stayed thinking about Dawn. It hurt, but it wasn't a new hurt like this is. This is now the hurt of Dawn not wanting to be with me as well as the hurt of this new woman not wanting me. I am sure there will be someone who will want me... but I really don't believe I am over Dawn, not like I said I was... not like I need to be. More to come later.... ~~Aaron