Just a thought, missing the way my life used to be.... the way everything seemed to fit together... I miss knowing that I was in love, and that someone loved me in return. I miss knowing that there was always someone there wanting to hear about my day, wanting to share my free time with me. I guess I just miss knowing..... I mean, as of now I don't know much of anything, I don't know where my life is heading, I don't know if I will ever get the girl of my dreams, I don't even know if the girl I am in love with will ever realize exactly how much she means to me... I had a good day today, Jessica came to visit me. Jessica is a girl I met online. She is a very sweet young lady, yet doesn't like to be tickled so much. She brought an x-box with her so that was fun, got to spend the afternoon playing some games. I really want an x-box, but I am afraid that if I actually end up getting one, it will get old. I thought about Dawn a bit today, I read in her diary that she had a wonderful evening out with the new interest in her life. I don't know if I will ever get used to knowing that she is moving on and leaving behind me and the memories we had. I want her to be happy, yet I want to be happy as well. I had so many plans, I wanted to spend the rest of forever with her, I wanted to be the one to make her happy. I hope it all works out for the best. I mean, I am sure that if someone else can make her happy, make her happy the way I wanted to make her happy, if there is someone that can do a better job of it than I, she will be much better off. I just wonder if I will be so lucky. I mean, everyone says there are more people out there, more people to date, someone that will be right for me, but it sure is hard to understand that when the person I love doesn't want me to love them anymore. I hope she knows I love her.... Time to think about something else, can't spend the rest of forever wondering what could be when I need to face the reality that it never will be, that it can't ever be the way it used to be.... the way it was when my life was a happy place.... ~~Aaron