Here is what I now think, after time has passed and allowed my head and heart clear a little. I feel I was lucky to have had Dawn in my life as long as I did. She lived down the street yet I only really got to know her in this past year. I am blessed to have gotten to know her and her family. I know not all of her family has liked me at all or even most points in our relationship, but I am grateful to have been able to interact with them. Her brother seemed to never like me, he dated my sister before and during my time with Dawn. I understand that he can't necessarily enjoy the idea that anyone was with his sister, but I just wish he recognized that I respect him, his ability to do so many great things at school and still support a high family spirit doing everything with both his mother and sister. I know it will be hard on the structure of the family when he graduates this year, they are all so very close. Her mother probably hates me. I know I wasn't always the best for Dawn, and I know that there isn't really any way for anyone to be happy all the time, but I want her mother to know that in my heart, I never meant to hurt Dawn. I am grateful to her mother for talking to me about things, helping me to understand that Dawn has bad days and that it isn't always much of anything I did to make her angry, she just doesn't always feel good. Her mother always smiled at me, always showed an interest in my life, my education, my well being. I don't know if it was a show, her trying to make me feel good while I was dating her daughter, but it did, it made me feel good. Her father... what a gifted man. He has been through so many trials in his life and still comes home every night with a smile on his face. He works hard and supports his family, he does what he must and does it very well. Me and Dawn visited him at work, he is a manager; I have never seen employees feel so comfortable and enjoy the boss' company so much. He has this air around him that is intoxicating, it sucks you in and you can't help but smile in return. He has made me laugh, and made me feel comfortable. He even calls me sweetie just for the hell of it. He is a great man and a great role model. It is with this that I am grateful, these experiences that I have been introduced to through Dawn. I wished for a lifetime of memories with her and got but a few. I spent almost a year in her arms and she will spend an eternity in my heart. Her family holds a close spot within me the likes of which will never be forgotten. I hope one day that Dawn can love me again, or want me in her life again. Given the chance I will not let her go. After this I know that no one can again hurt me. I have felt the pain of heartache and now know that the only person that can hurt me is the same person that can heal me. I don't expect Dawn to ever want to be with me again; yet I still want to be with her. I know that if it is to ever work between us, we both need the time to heal. I know that I need to change some of my behavior in order to make myself a better person; I need to be less controlling, less jealous, and more understanding. I hope that during this time she too is able to find and fix some of her faults. The hardest thing about love is making it work forever. The best thing about love is that it has the potential to make even the worst situation better. I love Dawn, I know this. If I have had all I am meant to have with her, I can still walk away knowing that I had the best year ever. Thank you Dawn and Kilgore family for welcoming me into your heart and home and giving me some of the most memorable experiences of my life. I will not ever forget you. To my family, you have seen me fall, drown in my own sobs and still you have supported me. With everything I have been through, you stood there and held me when I couldn't hold myself. I don't know where I would be without the caring hugs I have come to need. Your words are always around me and I know that you love me. I thank you for all that you do for me, all that you are for me, and mostly for having faith in me. I will try not to let you down. I will do my best at all I go after. I love you... thank you. Aaron