Ok, so this is my first attempt at an online diary, well any diary for that matter. Here is why I decided to start, well, actually why I feel I had to start an online diary: About two weeks ago my world fell in on me. My girlfriend and I broke up. We were together for 9 months. She said she didn’t trust me, I haven’t done anything to make her think of me as untrustworthy, nor would I ever. When I am in love, it is 100% in love, not something I take lightly. I would never hurt her and the only thing I could ever be accused of is loving with all I have. I did not, nor would I ever cheat on the woman I am with; it just isn’t in me to do so. Anyhow, she said that she would not have any contact with me anymore; no e-mail, no instant messaging, no phone calls, nothing. It is almost like she wants me to disappear from the face of the world. I am the man she once loved, and now I am just to go away? I think it wouldn’t be so bad except I am still completely in love with her. I know I want someone that can trust me, but none the less, I still want her. She was my life, my future, the woman I wanted to marry and now I am to never speak to her again? I don’t know what I am doing, I don’t know where I am going, and I don’t know why my request for trust is so hard for her to give me. I will always love with all I have, yet now I am not sure how to love someone else. My heart still lies with her, my thoughts are of her and my world gets colder every night I lay awake alone in my apartment thinking of how much I had, and how quickly it all fell apart. I will never forget what we had, nor will I ever understand why it had to end so abruptly. I can only hope that one day, some day soon, she will figure out that I was a good guy, someone she can trust, and someone who deserves her love. And if that happens, and she does come back to me, I hope that I can love her and have her love me as much as I will love her. Until that day, my plan is to take everything one day at a time. Love everyone I come in contact with, and hold out for her to love me once again…. ~~ Aaron