It's that feeling that someone Is standing behind me And I turn around and there's no one there And it's the sensation That someone just whispered Yeah and I still hear your voice but you're not really here Your memory is like a ghost And my heart is it's host I can still feel you just as close as skin Every now and then All by myself, in a crowded room, or my empty bed There's a place you've touched With your love no one gets close to I can still feel you, I can still feel you, I can still feel you, I can still feel you You said you'd love me forever Then you said it's over And left me without the missing link I thought I'd forget you But I guess I forgot to And lately I've been too confused to think When I reach for someone new It's like I'm touching you I can still feel you just as close as skin Every now and then All by myself, in a crowded room, or my empty bed There's a place you've touched With your love no one gets close to I can still feel you, I can still feel you, I can still feel you, I can still feel you In everything that moves In everything I do I can still feel you just as close as skin Every now and then All by myself, in a crowded room, or my empty bed There's a place you've touched With your love no one gets close to I can still feel you, I can still feel you, I can still feel you, I can still feel you Oh I can still feel you ............................................... So, you see, it is kind of how it goes for me. I don't know where I went wrong, with either of my two loves. Ash asked if I ever felt this way with her, but how could she not see that I did. But I did what I had to do, I did what I needed to do in order to get through it. I couldn't be with her, her father made that clear. She made it clear to me when I was to be a secret, a love only when we were alone or in Dallas together, nothing while back home. I have never, nor would I ever ask someone I love to play that position in my life. I wanna love someone and when I love someone, I want the whole world to know it. She had her reasons for what she did and I think me and her are ok, but I hope she doesn't ever doubt the amount of love I had for her. She will always be my first love, no one can take that away from me. Now, Dawn. So she told me she wasn't going to get involved with this guy. She told me that he lied to her when they first met. He didn't lie about something stupid, he lied about the fact that he is currently married and has a child! But when we broke up it was because she couldn't trust me, me being the person that never lied to her, never showed signs of lieing to her. She wants to freaking start this relationship with a married man how has already lied to her even when they were just getting to know eachother. I will never understand how he is better for her than I. Another point, she told me that I wasn't right for her because I want to settle down and she wants to have a good time still, she wants to "live her life" yet she is getting involved with this guy who has already been a husband, and a father. Those two distinct things don't just go away. He will still want the realtionship to be the way his last one was. He will be looking to settle down, and she will be the new mommy of his little boy, maybe not officially, but the son (7 months old?) will most likely see her in that light. I was ready to settle down, but I guess he just wants to go out and party all the time just like her, huh... I think not. I have tried to be a great guy to everyone I know. I try my best to keep my friends, but when a friend, a love at that, when someone that important in your life breaks your heart it really takes a lot to be friends again. I feel as if she has lied to me about many things, things I probably will never find out about at that. I feel that she never loved me the way I loved her, I feel that she lead me on most of our relationship and it really sucks to think that. We are talking about the woman I loved... how could she do that to me? If she ever loved me the way she said she did, how could she fall in love with this guy so fast, we have only been apart for 1 month now. I haven't found my next girlfriend, how did she find someone she wants to be with? If you read her diary, she is on my friends list, live2love, you will see that she just had a big fight with this guy, they are just starting and already he is screwing things up.... but he is still better than I.... I won't understand it. I think I am an ok guy, not perfect, not even close... but I do try to be sweet, romantic, and carring.... I love with all my heart... I always have. I deserve someone much better than Dawn, actually, I think if she is able to treat me the way she is, if she can forget about the promises we once made to eachother so quickly... If she can treat me as less than her friend when I was once her life, then I don't think she deserves much of anything, yet I still want her to have the moon if that is what she desires...... I loved like I wouldn't get hurt, yet I did... Thanks Dawn, you showed me what true heart ache is really about, I will be much more cautious before giving myself to another, before wanting to spend the rest of forever with another. I am no longer the trusting guy I was and I owe it all to you... you showed me what the real world is like, and for that I will never forget you.... ~~Aaron