Yeah, so she decided she couldn't see me at all tonight. This sucks very badly.... I want her to feel better, I don't want her to hurt, I want to be able to take all her pain away, every day of her life... Also, when she is hurting, she is really mean to me. I can say the sweetest things and she bites my head off. I ask her to see me and I am wrong for doing so, I ask her if there is any chance that she can step to the door for a kiss goodnight, and it is a "no, why don't you just leave me alone". She won't let me see her, she won't let me hug her, she won't let me kiss her, she won't talk to me on the phone, but she can talk to everyone online... just not me. I hate it when it is like this, I know I don't do everything right, I can't even pretend I come close, but I can not even begin to understand this.... I understand she hurts, and she doesn't want to be out and about, but if she can sit in a computer chair and type... she should be able to sit in a bed and talk on the phone... but she won't, she won't do it for me.... These past few days have been getting worse for her, every time she has a bad day, I am in the dog house. I can't do anything right, my sweet thoughts become bad ideas, my concerns are blown way out of porpotion... everything goes wrong. I have down days, nothing like she does, but still, I don't think I take it all out on her... I just wish she could see what she does to me on days like these.... if she could, I know she wouldn't like it. I hope I never treat her like this. I don't know that I treat her any better... but I sure hope I do. Anytime she says anything, I do it. When I have the chance to see her, I jump on it. If she needs anything, no matter what I am doing, I drop it and do for her. I would go to the end of the world and back for her.... Aaron