tonight on my way home, i was stopped at a stoplight. while the red lights glared at me, and white lights zoomed past, i was struck with an idea... release the brake. release it, and let my spirit watch as the violent poetry of destruction rips through metal and bone. the glorious dissonance of physics. there's a similar reason to explain why i both thrill at and fear heights. i'm half-worried that i'll jump. the logical mind says "you'll die, you idiot!" but the irrational side sees the poetry, the art, the expression in the act. the jump. release and liberty, the whip of wind in your hair, and the complete freedom, fleeting though it may be, of just falling. and then the impact: sickening, disgusting, reducing what was once a human to a bloody mass of splintered bones and shattered dreams. i don't know... just a thought before the light turns green. afterthought: i am not suicidal. these are just thoughts, and that's that. luckily, half of my brain is still logical, and keeps the other half in check. but yes... no.