i can't believe it's been a month. i've been here for almost a month and a half, actually... weird. it doesn't feel like it, and yet, it does. the red in my hair is fading fast, and my hair's looking blonder by the day. really, more of a weird ambery-brown where the blonde was. i need to re-dye it, i think. i should do that sometime. maybe. i probably won't. i do things that i shouldn't do. i'm scared to change. i want to, but i'm scared. (do i really want to?) it's so much easier and more comfortable to stick with what you know, even if you know it's not the best way. "this really isn't the time to be reconstructing my whole personality" i said. "you've just moved 1000 miles away from everything you ever knew. when will you ever find a better time?" he asked. curses. you shouldn't make me question myself so. but then, you've just been there. it hurts to hear sometimes, but i'm just scared. tie me down. tie me down to something, before i float away into the sky, sickeningly free. quick, somebody, tie me down.