so much time spent running, in constant motion, juggling present with future with past with me. but you know, after a while, you start getting tired, and so you slow down a little bit. but the temptation is there and the body is weak. you stop. you just stop running. and that's when it all catches up with you. all those things you were trying to forget about rush up behind you and overtake you like a wave. crest after crest marked with insecurities and weaknesses, phobias and realities. it's too much sometimes. too heavy. they'll drag you down till you can't start running again. and even if you do, they'll still be there, a toxic wake. i hate myself sometimes. whoops.