scared of the wierd new categories... ahh... i don't know what that is. so these are just some thoughts that have been brewing in my head for a while. i'm sure they'll make no sense, and they're not really relevant to anything ever, kind of like me. why is it that everyone cool lives in california? it seems like everyone i meet on this site is from the west coast. i am stuck in texas, with people who aren't nearly as nice to me as y'all have been. (y'all specifically added in for wyatt) i think i might be doomed to walk the earth alone. every day it seems like more of a possibility. this is when my insecurities build up, when no one wants to love me and when no one tries to prove otherwise. surely someone is up for it? as stupid as it sounds, i just want someone to hold me, and to love me. there, my stupid sappy girly quotient has now been filled for today. my friends make fun of me a lot, for things that they do themselves. i think it's because i'm a good sport, and i know how to laugh at myself. or, i am unknowingly the butt of every joke. i'd like to think that i'm not. i know i'm a big clumsy mess of a loser freak idiot, but i don't think that's a good reason to tease me. sometimes it's too much. positive reinforcement, guys... i've been told everything from "you're too intimidating" to "you're too good for them". i'm sick of it all. stop making excuses. guys just don't want to talk to me. (this is the part where i talk myself into believing the bad things because that's how i deal with this issue) guys just don't want to talk to me, and i don't really know why. i'm not intimidating... i'm only human. and i'm not too good for people... again, i'm only human. i'm no better (in fact, i'm probably worse) than everybody else. i still trip over my own feet. i still spill things on myself and others. i still have trouble talking sometimes. i am a freak. maybe that's why no one wants me... hm. either way, it sucks. i'm sad to say that i will probably go off to college without having ever had a relationship or even getting a kiss from a boy... so damn pathetic. also, i am fat. i hate myself sometimes. stop eating so much crap, seriously, the sweet tooth is getting out of hand. this is the most pointless entry ever. i suck.