So maybe I do not do it as well as Felix. Maybe I require more practice. I am willing to dedicate myself to it and I'm happy. I was speaking to the girl who works at the Keg, and she motivated me to continue. She was so open and encouraging about my choice. It made me want to commit to it. When ever I inform a person on the field of study I chose, they usually respond with "so, basically no career options for you." But there are! So suck my dick. I need to do this everyday for at least twenty minutes. Not only will it help strengthen my vocabulary, but it will give me some structure and discipline. Also, not to mention how much of an amazing outlet it is. God, I feel good right now.

My relationship with Ryan has improved over the past two weeks. I think I became scared of the attachment and commitment. I was so desperately trying to free myself from my own man-made manacles, that I was blinded. I was having too much fun, and didn't want the responsibilities that came with a serious, adult relationship.