Curious that on a sunny day, like today, I have a strange urge to remain subterranean, and expell thoughts in here. (I can hear my brother, upstairs, tell a guest that the food she brought looks disgusting. He is drunk (yes, at 12:34 PM) and she thinks he is joking. " This looks like my puke after I eat a block of feta and chug a 40.")

I came to some interesting conclusion the night before, in my bed, right before my subconscious took over. Unfortunately, I did not have a pen and a paper and cannot quite remeber how it goes exactly. This is an attempt to make logic out of it. What the semi-aware Cristina retained.

This is triggered by fear. Just fear in genral, not a specific phobia.

Desensitization is the root of my problems these days.