today was no different from any other day... it seems like the excitement of being alive, of having fun, all went away after i got old enough to know the truth... that truth being that the world is full of animals willing to kill eachother off just for the fun of watching eachother suffer... i wish i could go back to when i was young... ignorance really is bliss... now i cant sleep because i hear all the noises in my room that could be a burgler, a rapest, a murderer or just the ghost of all the dead... i dont know what has happen to me in the past few years... instead of looking forward to my future, i wish i had never gotten older... each year i get worst, but i thought things were changing... i started acting mature... i felt like things were going good for me this time... now all i see for my future is pain... i find myside hiding from everyone i know... locked up in my room, my fortress of silence and pain, where no one can find me or try to... when im around "friends" and "family", i have to fake happiness to avoid "the questions"... whats wrong? are you ok? you don't look too good? did you sleep last night? ect...ect...ect... just leave me alone... im tired of everyone and everything... nothing changes... nothing gets better... as i get older i learn more things... nothing good... to see how the world is turning out and how my life is heading towards... im scared... i dont know what the future holds... im starting not to care about anything anymore... my days, my nights, my dreams... all just full of questions i dont dare ask, things i dont dare say out loud, fear...anger...hate... i try not to cry, but it just hurts more... I DONT WANT TO TELL YOU HOW I FEEL!!! IT DOESN'T MATTER... let me just vent in peace... im done...