yesterday i was so depressed i actually cried for awhile... i dont know what was wrong with me, but i felt like shit... my mom gave me a sleeping pill saying it was a vitamin and even though i knew what it was, i took it anyway... then i told her i was going to fight it and not fall asleep... it was mad late and the phone rang... i was so drowsy i thought it was the alarm... i pressed the button to the phone and just stared at it and after mad long i saw it say there was a call... i said hello and it was my dude... he's scared cause he can't get into my head... he told me b4 that he cant figure me out and i told him that until i figure myself out, no one else could... so that conversation didn't cheer me up and i felt more crappy... then i kept crying afterwards and i feel out of it cause of the pills and i was just dazed... at around 4AM i called his house not expecting anyone to pick up and i told him that i needed someone to talk to and he said he can't right now cause his mom is flipping cause the phone woke her up... i said ok and just hung up... thats when i started taking the pics of me crying... a couple minutes later he showed up at my window... i sneaked him into the house and he held me and asked me what was wrong and i said i dont know and he held me some more... he said i scare him sometimes... i cheered up though... i guess i just needed human contact for a few... so i got normal after a little while and we joked and read these papers i got in psychology class about relationships and it was fun... i gave him a cool ring i had because the paper told me i should...lol... we had sex and joked some more and fell asleep... it was mad hot in my room, but we held eachother most of the time... i have a fan, but its a crappy one and i can't get an AC cause then i gotta give the landlord 50 dollars each month and i still haven't been looking for a job... i had him hide under the bed when i had to leave the room to use the bathroom and when my mom called to give me food... he peed in a cranberry juice bottle i had and i shared my food with him and showed him my computer cause he hasn't been in my room for awhile... my mom doesn't let him inside anymore because her dumb girlfriend is a bitch and doesn't want him in the house... today we took a couple pics of us b4 he left... and we made a little video with the webcam... it was fun... i feel normal now... i missed school... he didn't want to leave but i told him he had to cause the faster he gets his license from the realestate school, the faster we could get our own place... i had him hide behind the door and went through my house to see where my mom and her chic were... then i kissed him and had him run out the backdoor... "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED"... we didn't get caught and thats always good... so, yeah... thats where i am right now... watching TV in a hot room with the weekend ahead of me to finish up my essays... life is sweet... once in awhile anyway...