i'm so bored of this life... i wish i could just disappear from everything i've grown to despise... why is it the things i try to change always remain the same? and nobody gets it... they just think i'm being a drama queen or need to grow up and stop acting like a teenager... if i could, i would... u think i like feeling this way? u think always being unhappy is what i wanted when i thought of my life as an adult... i look the way i feel... i look like a kid and i feel like a kid and i want to grow out of these dumb tantrums that make my life not worth living, but i don't know how to go around making myself better... the only way i know how to change is by disappearing from everything that has made me who i am... and to do that i need money... and to get money, i need a job... and no jobs are calling... it's like i'm stuck here... and i hate feeling that i'm not in control of my life... we only live once and for my 22 years of life i have been stuck in a loop of nothingness and pain... i just wish i could start everything over from the beginning... i would erase all my friends, all my loves, everything... if i could just start everything over from the beginning... it's not like they'll miss me cause they wouldn't even remember i existed... I WOULD ERASE U ALL IF IT MEANT MY HAPPINESS....