well i haven't written in awhile, but whatevers... u could stop crying urself to sleep each night cause im back... at least for this one entry... basically i've just been doing the same things i've always done, the only thing now i started school and im dating a different guy... other then all that, nothing really exciting... sorry to have left u without some joy... whoever u are... one good thing did happen... my lil bro is coming out of jail this year... yay! now he could sell weed and smoke with all u potheads... aren't u happy... im glad he coming out, but i dont really think he's changed much... and if thats true, then he just going right back in where he could mooch on my money and call collect 5 million times a day on my phone to talk to his girlfriend... i love him, but he making me broke in jail... then he comes out and i supply him with money for whatever he needs here... mostly weed and train fare... aint a such a good sister... then school really sucks... this week alone i had 4 test... 3 in one day and one just happened to be a surprise exam... what fun that was... not! and to make things even better, i got a cold sore... and no its not herpes!!! i've been getting it since i was a little kid... unless i kissed some dirty fuck back then and dont remember... whatever, maybe it is herpes... the only way to know is to build a time machine and go back to all the times i kissed a boy from age 7 down... i was a little freak back then... its now with my old age and arthritis that i've calmed down... if i could go back, i'll shoot so many people b4 they became assholes... that would be fun... recently i've gotten in contact with two old friends... one from my elementary years and one from middle school... its cool... they both have kids now... i really believe everyone i grew up with has popped out a kid or two... i've either been very lucky with sex or i cant have kids... i guess i'll find out when i start actually trying... my boyfriends real cool... i actually love him... its wierd how u could fall in love with more then one person in ur lifetime... makes me wonder who im gonna be with in "heaven" if i marry several guys... will the first one get the prize or the last? dont get me wrong, im not religious or anything, but its interesting to think about... like whether old people find other old people sexier then young people... i think about this cause i know when i was little, i loved me some cute little boys... i found them sexy back then... now i know little boys are annoying and just scrawny... i could never see myself with some little kid... unless he was like in his teens, then its all good... lol... my new mans 19... just 2 years younger then me... thats not too bad... i would go as low as 17... only because he has to be at least older then my little bro whose 16... or did he turn 17 in jail? i should really know this... anyway, i dont know where all this is leading... i just lost my train of thought... its old age catching up to me... let me go... u could start crying sorrowful tears due to my disappearance... bye... miss me, love me and all that other crap...