yo, so i wrote this letter to my dude that was mad cruel... i wasn't gonna let him read it cause it was just me vending my anger to make myself feel better, but i mentioned it and he wanted to read it... i tried to explain that its really gonna hurt him, but he wanted to read it anyway, so i let him... while reading the letter, he looked shocked at different parts and then afterwards, he looked mad hurt... it was sad, but i warned him, so he cant get mad at me... plus, nothing i said was a lie... anyway, we talked and everything is cool now... but i know he still has the letter in his head... well anyway... here it goes... : ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ U say u love me and that u want to only be with me, but then u hardly around... a appreciate the favor of u staying here for the ten days my mom was gone, but when u then disappear for 4 days without calling, then that favor u did me meant nothing... u wanna know why im not into sex? Because u don’t give me a reason to want it anymore... I feel like im the lowest person in ur list of ppl u care about! Everyone is more important then me and it pisses me off... all u got is excuses! U couldn’t call me because of this person and that person... how hard is it to go see ur girl? B4 u used to come by even if it only was for a few minutes... im not even married and its like we an old married couple... it feels like u don’t even want to be with me... and im so tired of it... im tired of the excuses... im tired of always being last... im tired of u telling me that u miss me when we not together, and yet u only live a few blocks away, so it shouldn’t be hard for u to come by... everything is about u... u not a phone person... u tired... u have to get away... what about me? Im not a “having my boyfriend never see me” type of person!!! but u don’t even try to come see me more... maybe for like a week u try and then again u disappear... when im tired, u try to keep me awake with sex!!! u having screw me if im asleep! What does that say about u? And what are u trying to get away from? U hardly see me? Am I that tiring that u need to disappear from me? What does that say about “us”? And u cant even talk to me like couples should... everything’s a secret... its fucked up... im suppose to be ur future wife and I hardly even know u... u cry and tell me not to leave u and then turn around and say we cant get married cause we don’t know how long we’ll be together... u say u gonna have the rings tattooed, my pic done on ur chest... then turn around and mess the pic up and say we ain’t even getting married... I’ve lowered my standards a lot... with any other guy, I would have been dumped them... but I cant hurt u... not like u care that u hurt me all the time... IM TIRED!!!! DO SOMETHING!!! how can we have a “future” if we don’t even got a “present”... u gotta figure out what u want b4 I waste too much time on a relationship that aint going anywhere... im young, but I don’t have time for this... I don’t have time to waste on anyone if they not going to invest the same amount of love, time, energy, ect on this “relationship”... if u can even call it that... I change things to fit u... I’ve bended my rules... what have u done? Nothing.... u have changed nothing for me... I mold myself to fit u, but u don’t do the same for me... u have so many rules u want me to follow and yet don’t follow the ones I put out... then u say that u don’t “make” me do anything... but if u really loved me, u wouldn’t have to be made to do anything... u would want to do it to please the person u with... u want me to change how I dress, but u don’t want to change how u dress... like my clothing is disgusting and u are Mr. Style or some crap like that... all u do is criticize me and that’s annoying cause like u mention, u like u for u... but u trying to change me and this is how u met me, so u just gotta get over it... and by the way, ur breath always stinks... BRUSH UR FREAKING TONGUE!!! it’s a turn off when I go to kiss u... that’s why I hardly do it!!! that’s also another reason why my sex drive is low... it really gets me out of the “MOOD”... that’s why I dumped leo... he was an OK guy, but his smell was beyond disgusting... he was also fat and had things growing from his neck, but that’s another story... also, clean ur ears more often.... and when u shave and ur leg hairs are growing in, it pinches me... that’s why I jump... and why does everything have to involve ur dick? We cant just lay together cuddling... u always gotta pull out ur dick and put it on me... what’s up with that? Not everything has to be sexual... cant we just hold each other for the sake of holding each other... and we never rub each other when we kiss like we used to... that turned me on... kissing for an hour while dry humping and then afterwards comes the sex... now its all just sex... I don’t want to touch u with my finger tips, I want to grab u and hold u!!! that finger tip, featherlike touching just tickles... um... and ur feet tasting tangy when I put them in my mouth... it was kinda gross... and u want me to be more sexy... wearing “victorias secret” undies and crap, but this goes both ways... if I gotta wear sexy undies, so do u!!! so start buying silky boxers with different pics... cause when u were here, u wore the same one for a week... that’s a lot of ball sweat... and... when u make a promise, u should keep it!!! if u say u coming over, I expect u to come over!!! and if u cant make it, CALL ME!!! how hard is it to call!!! let me show u how easy it is, “baby, I cant make it... I’ll explain later... I love u... muazz... bye!!!” u see how easy that was! That’s like less then a 5 minute phone call... and like I said b4, U LIVE MAD CLOSE!!! jog over, say u cant stay, give me a kiss, and leave!!! that’s also less then a 5 minute conversation... do u really need to have it explained to u? U a smart boy... u should be able to figure it out on ur own... I want a boyfriend that doesn’t think his girl is a “chore”... someone he’s obligated to see... I want u to WANT to see me... not because I’ve been bitching about it for like 2 years... but because u want to... and u cant say that u were like this when I met u, cause u weren’t!!! we saw each other all the time b4 the breakup... and if we didn’t see each other for the whole week, we always had Saturday... ALWAYS!!! so if that’s ur excuse, u should find another one... and u want me to trust u, but u don’t give me a reason to... u don’t tell me what u do and u never call and u always with everyone and their moms, but not with me... also, last time at the real-estate, u put me and ur mom together to talk so our problems will be settled, but u wont even chill around my dad... cause U not comfortable... I wasn’t comfortable neither, but I did it for u... u gotta learn to do things for ME!!! if I only think about ur feelings and u only think of ur feelings, then whose thinking about mine? I guess I just want too much... I should just stop trying... I try not to feel hurt with the things u do, but its hard... last time I was chatting with ur sis and she asked u if u want to talk to me and u said no cause u tired... that really hurt... what made it worse was that u told her u’ll talk to me the next day and two days have passed and still not a visit or a call... the reason im only mentioning the bad things about u is because the good things are so far away from each other that the bad is the only thing I remember... I love u and want to be with u, but u making it hard for me to keep my self-respect and love u... I feel worthless... I feel like im less to u then anyone else... I don’t like that feeling... I want things to be how I like them for a change... I want u here with me... not in the future, but now... could u do that? Are u willing to do that? Not for a few weeks or a few months... always... if u want to chill with friends, thats ok... as long as u don’t forget im here waiting... and u could invite me sometimes... u used to b4... I want things to be like b4... u wanted me more then... I don’t know if its cause I’ve gotten uglier or that u don’t like hanging with me anymore or that im just boring... whatever ur reasons, I want u to let me know... im a big girl, I could handle it... I do love u... why else would I always want u around? Why else are u the first and last thing I think about? Why else would I bitch so much when u not around and then not be able to say anything to ur face? Why else would I stop doing my school essays to sleep with ur drunk butt when u wanted me? Why else would I look mad sad when u leaving? Why else would I kiss u while u sleep? Why else was I willing to have a kid with u when u wanted one? When I stop complaining, then u should start worrying... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ mi novio... this is some crazy shit his lil sis did...