today was a rather sad day. i forgot to put on make up, i got some bad grades, i have no idea what im doing in math class, i had a pop essay in English,my stove is driving me insane, Katie was really mad at me, Jess wasn't really interested in what i had to say, and Joe was sad,...-about something he wouldn't talk about with me. When the people you love are sad its hard to be happy. the only reason i gave today a star was because i saw Joe and just seeing him and having him touch me makes me in a better mood. Last night i had alot of fun with him,..i liked the last half of the date the best though. we stood in front of my neighbor's house and just hugged, and kissed. i dont know if what we did is classified as making out but i'd like to think it was. i loooooved being with him last night in those last 10 or 15 minutes. i can't get enough of him. it's really hard to explain how much i love him. i just hope that we can be together on Friday. i love you Joe. I'm not so sure if his friend Zack really likes me...its hard to tell. i fucked up though. I fucked things over with my best friend. i chose to go out with Joe instead of helping her. i dont think ive ever felt so guilty in my life. i talk so much about how i hate it when people hurt katie, and then i go ahead and do it. im such a hypocrite. i hope you read this katie and see hoe sorry i am. i dont know what to say. i feel horrible. i can't beleive that i would do that either, i dont know what the hell i was thinking. i screwed up. i hate myself for being so happy with Joe last night and not even realizing how much pain katie must have been going through. im horrible. i told jessica today in second period, "i didnt do anything!" and after saying that i realized that was what i did wrong -i didnt do anything. i remember thinking that i could never hurt someone like Katie, and now i have. i hate myself for doing so. i love you Katie. I hope that you can forgive me.