so school started. its ok. its our first weekend. this long distance thing with joseph is horrible. we got in the biggest fight of all time last night. i really dont know if we are going to be able to stay together or not. ive been with him for so long and i feel like i could never live without him. and yet when i think about our fun times, all i can think about is when he was here, not when hes gone. things are so different now, and im having so much stress. i dont know how i can get through this. i feel like im slowly dying of pain and anxiety. but then again its like nobody knows. im such an emotional wreck. its like i cant just be. i feel like nobody understands me and it scares me. i used to think joseph did, but we really are so different and we dont understand eachother anymore. i feel like our relationship is falling apart slowly. i dont know what to do. im exhausted from trying to make it work and trying everything in my power to keep my sanity but its so hard. i wish he was here.