"wow," says everyone, because everyone says it, "that's so far."

yes i fucking know how far it is and i fucking know that it's a long time and i fucking know every single other thing

here is the hard part and here is the worst part is that my mom didn't believe me when i said you were coming and sometimes i don't believe either

it's just hard some nights. i feel like maybe you're not real and if you're not real then we're not real and if we're not real then what am i? and i know that's not true but it feels true when it's 3 AM and i am just. here. alone. it's so hard to not feel alone when that's all i feel like i've ever been.

i love you i love you i love you i promise i love you more than anyone and i guess this is what people mean when they say sometimes you have to chose. i'm choosing and i want to keep choosing but i need something.

please god, give me something. i love her and i'll keep loving her so good but please, give me something. i am so tired of sleeping alone.