Venting time. YAY! Ex-boyfriend. GAH! I despise that word. But not as much as I hate the word "ex-girlfriend." It makes me cringe. Relationships in high school are so incredibly stupid. We're children, for the love of pete! We barely know what love is, so pretending that we're in love is ludicrous. and anyone who says otherwise is just decieving themself. themselves? his/herself? ok. But I wish I did know about love. I know God's love, but I can't compare to that. All I know is that this STUPID boy is the main focus of my thoughts and I can't get him out of my mind. I wish I could stop feeling this way. I wish. Whenever I see him, it makes my blood boil. But that's not in a bad way. Yesterday, after I got home, I was actually shaking, and I could feel the blood rushing to my face. I am an emotional wreck. I was actually crying yesterday - CRYING! I haven't cried like that in years. It's quite pathetic, I must say. Especially since he was all over Lauren, and treats me like a bitch. But I still go crazy everytime he looks at me. DAMN IT! I have no idea what to do. I'd either like to get back together with him, or I'd like to forget about him. But both seem impossible as of yet. If I got back together with him, it will be just like it was before. And I don't want that. But I can't seem to be able to "wash him out of my hair," so to speak. I keep thinking that I feel this way because I haven't found anyone new. But that's stupid. Liking someone new shouldn't be the answer - I should be able to be on my own, for goodness sake. I lived on my own for 15 years, what's wrong with me now? It's stupid teenage melodrama, that's what it is. But if it's so stupid, then why am I falling apart? I need to put things in perspective. I need to do something to get my mind off him. I need a hug. Where's Kevin when you need him?!?