woooooohaaaaaaa...... how things do change. the jackass with no soul is gone. hopefully forever. i am still torn between calling him one last time, as a sort of goodbye meeting, because the last time was so humiliating. but then, i think, it was sooo humiliating. why do it again? and also, i don't really want to see him. i don't really even like being around him. he's rude and selfish and awkward and his life revolves around pot. but i still cling to the thought that we used to care so much about each other, and it's reduced to this. that thinking made me sad in the past, about other ex's. but this time i almost completely don't even care. i feel like he acted that way towards me deliberately to make me feel worthless, and showing any sort of interest platonic or otherwise in him would just be proving that he was right. that he could treat me like that, and i would take it. well, i won't.