Well, school just ended and so has my life. I've realized how much it really sucks. I know I have a lot to be thankful for, and that's great. I'm not dissatisfied with what I have, but with what I am. I've become very anti-social. I think I'm reverting back to my personality when I was younger, where I'm either too scared or too lazy to meet new people and make friends. I tried so hard to be a "people person" this year, but I feel like I just can't do it anymore. I only like being with a select few people, and don't feel any inclination to get to know others. I'm completely s I could go on, but I'd just further depress myself. Why does God love me? Why? I'm horrible to him as well. He deserves so much more than i give him. Why doesn't he care how horrible I am? Why does He let me keep coming back? I need Him so much. But I just know that I'm going to let Him down. I can't do anything about it. I wish there were. I'm tired of being horrible. I'm tired of my pride and selfishness. I want to be credit to His name, but I'm the scum of the earth. How can I stop? I can't. I've tried.